Tweets from: Jean-Luc Picard

 

Tweets from: Captain Jean-Luc Picard aboard the bridge of the U.S.S Enterprise:

 

“Just entered the room. All eyes on me. Impossible to scratch oneself. ‘As you were.’ Ahh sweet relief”

 

“Captain’s chair is warm and smells like blood wine farts. Worf refuses to look me in the eyes.”

 

“According to@Rikers_beard, they’re serving Eggs Florentine in ten forward this morning”

 

“I’m pretty sure the robot wants my job. Must remember to replace his emotion chip with a pop tart.”

 

“Is it me or do I sound butch when I say ‘ENGAGE!’?”

 

“I need to come up with other phrases other then ENGAGE! See? Butch. That’s it, I’m buying leather chaps.”

 

“Why do all the ugliest alien civilizations insist on using the view screen? And why is the view screen now HD?”

 

“When this god awful shift is over, I’m totally using the replicators to fill my room with red velvet cake and eating my way out. #stretchmyuniform”

 

“The Betazoid is staring. Quick don’t think about stealing Splenda packets from Sbucks don’t think about stealing Splenda packets from Sbucks”

 

“I really need to think of a better excuse of ejecting the warp core this time  #remembertoblametherobot”

 

“Awesome! @Rikers_beard just told me it’s pizza bagels for lunch.”

 

“Set a course for Romulan Space… GIT ‘ER DONE!”

 

“@Laforge just reported that shields are down 40%. Someone is getting the Secret. For Christmas”

 

“Worf seems agitated”

 

“@Worf have you tried filling your room with red velvet cake, and eating your way out yet? It always puts a smile on my face.”

 

“Got a grunt back from Worf. I like to think  it was an appreciative grunt, but I can’t tell anymore #weusedtobecloser”

 

“Quick, don’t think about drinking from the flask clearly marked Wesley Crusher in the break room”

 

“Klingons off the starboard bow. Klingons off the Port side bow. Hey @Kling_ons why are you such drama queens?”

 

“offered to introduce the robot to my laptop. he gave me a lengthy explanation oh how he is not that kind of android.#fightingtostayawake”

 

“Bajor is so far…@Rikers_beard @LaForge @Worf who wants to go faster!?”

 

“No on wants to go faster, and I lost 10 followers”

 

“Set a course to Romulus… YOU’RE FIRED!.. nah  it’s not the same.”